Monday, July 5, 2010
Can't say goodbye to you..
Alright, So Hi.
I don't know from where I should start.
I know its been really really heck long since I wrote ANYTHING.
I don't want to write any of the bullshit i always use to end up writing.
About my sad lost love, About my friends betraying me, About how sad and miserable I am, about how I want to abuse someone all around.
I'm straight away gonna just give this post away to a person who will always and forever remain with me even though hes not gonna be anywhere close to me physically.
And Yes, As I'm typing this through,I can't help but weep like a baby.
There is no one around me, Not even my Favorite teddy bear I could at least hold tight and let go of these feelings I cannot handle myself alone.
I don't know what this game is called, Perhaps I would call it Life.
Its the toughest job, I'm young, But my emotions are as old as they should be. Right now, I cannot control a single muscle of my body, a single tissue.
I'm not upset, At all.
I'm great, I'm just GREAT.
I don't give a peace of crap about anyone but myself right now, I truly truly wished I had people and things to thank for being a part of my great yet conservative life.
So, Anxious to know who I'm talking about?
The names, Malhotra, Shourya Malhotra. ( you gotta thank me for that great Bond intro later man haha)
You know why Am I just madly in love with you?
No I mean really, In true fucking words,I love you. And I have a perfect explanation to tell you WHY.
Cause I have been out of reach from every single person living around me except for one and you know who that is.
And the only, only fucking person I could EVER fucking CALL when I went through my contact list that contained more than 300 contacts WAS YOU.
EVERYONE, EVERYONE have their Friends, best friends, on their Speed dial, on there contacts, In their recent log list, But I have ONE. Or sometimes Vodaphone gives me a call.
I go through my contact list and keep pushing my thumb on my touch screen , Wondering who to CALL?
From A to R , I just flip and think and it reaches S, and there comes Shourya.
I cant explain alright.
You're leaving soon enough, and time wont stop for crying out loud.
How am I supposed to STOP you?
You know, I have realized the time I have been ignorant to you, And the time I have been away from you, You have caught up with a lot of people too, who mean a lot more than I mean to you , I know that.
But trust me, Whatever said and done, You are my Hero. My brother from another mother but you and I feel blood related.
I want to thank you, for giving me such great lessons I could never ever get to learn from any other Friend or family member.
I maybe a loner sometimes, when I see people I knew earlier, STILL hanging out and making new friends and whatever the fuck everyone does, And I sit here and watch and just think, DAMN how bad do they hate me... still? They adored me at one time and so Did I.
Its Like I never even existed, Yeah I know everyone goes through it, Yakidi yakidi yak, But this is hard, They won't get it, cause they can't be me, Theyre still happy, Really happy, And yet, Im happy for them haha funny isnt it.. Was I really that bad? I ask myself.
Till the END of this post, Im still crying. Believe me or not. This kinda really has a lot of emotion to it, Least you could do after you read this is waste a little tears for me too.
I love you.
And you know sometimes, I feel God exists when I know you're near.