Sunday, November 22, 2009

Last Time.

[ I know you go through my Blog, So This one's for you]
Goodbye. :)

I'm stuck with writing songs
just to forget, what they really were about
and these words
are bringing me,so deeply in debt
that I don't think I can dig my way out.
i couldn't breathe you in
like i need to
and the words don't mean a thing.

so i'll sing this song to you,
for the last time.
and my heart is torn in two,
thinking of days spent without you.
and there is nothing left to prove

im counting all the things i could have done,
to make you see that i wanted us to be
what i go to sleep and dream of
i want you to know that i'd die for you.
i'd die for you.
i couldn't breathe you in like i need to
and the words don't mean a thing

so i'll sing this song to you for the last time.
and my heart is torn in two
thinking of days spent without you.
and there's nothing else to prove
and if you are alone make sure you're not lonely.
cause if you are i blame myself.
for never being home.
i know im not the only one
who will treat you like they should.
like you deserve.

m stuck with writing songs just to forget.

so i'll sing this song to you
for the last time.
and my heart is torn in two.
thinking' of days spent without you.
and there's nothing left to prove.

Friday, November 20, 2009


I'm not Done with you
It's not over yet,
I'm taking my chances here
You're really not easy to get.
Why are you Abandoning me?
Why are you running away ?
Why the hell am I reaching out for you?
What in the world will make you stay?
I have weird people around me
They have nothing but bad thing to say
I can't rip my ears apart
Why are they making me pay?
I look around, You're here
Just here, right next to me
But you're still looking towards the exit
Why ?
You wouldn't even have an answer, that's a sour part that I've hit.
I'm THROWING all my words around.
Like fucking bits of torn paper
And You still don't have a reason to come around.
Isn't it getting too old?
But i said, I won't let it die down
You said you missed me too
But I guess the tables have turned and its coming back around.
Questions asked
Looks returned
Is that all?
Please Go away
You're making me cry too much
Yea, I guess THAT'S all.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

It ends when you start.

Unexpected Events. So many of them. So many many emotions attached. So many words exchanged. Changes,They're like all over. All over the place. Scattered like cob webs.

Dear Readers,
All my apologies for not updating for so long. But I just couldn't collect my thoughts in one place. At the back of my mind I wanted to let go But it wasn't happening =$

Anyway, All I got on my mind is, Regret. It still here in me. And I'm trying too hard for nothing. Next month I'm leaving. Everything is gonna go by past me as i leave.
The person I'm in love with, Gone. My best friends, Gone. The togetherness of family, Gone.
And Why? Because, Things can't be normal. Can they ?Sweet baby Jesus, I can't fucking think of anything that can make it all fine.
This is going to end soon. Pretty soon. Yea.
I had gone to Chandigarh along with Amrita for a few days. Got my mind of some things fluttering in my mind. Well, I tried.
It was GREAT bloody fun. Traveled alone in a train. Yes! I felt independent :p

Next Month is going to be rough. Meeting people, saying the hardest goodbye, When you know you won't See each other again. Maybe. Never. Even though I have reasons to Stay. I will , If i want to. I'm not too sure. :S

Gaah, Its too Sad.
Well. Anyway. I just hope to be happy then.
I love you all out there . You S, Shourya, Amrita, yash, akk,Anirudh, Natasha, Tanmayesh,T, Tiwari, shar,saxena,Manyu, And it goes on.

:( Its just too grey out here for me. So I'm going to Stop here.

Monday, November 2, 2009


Well Hi there readers,
I don't have many but it doesn't really matter either.
I am going crazy by every passing day. It is hard to survive out here. Man, I'm terribely young even to go through weird stuff like this.
What the hell is wrong with my life? It was sick before, I'm looking at it turn worse.
With every single hour that passed by there is something or the other that , I want, I miss, I like, I love, I desire.
And There, I get nothing. Maybe somethings but not for too long.
My head is stuck at one place, where I though It would never be. Its easy to be dishonest with peopleor easy to be cruel. But is it easy to get over the amount of regret you have in you?
It's probably even Worse than what you DID. I sit anywhere alone or even when with people around me, This huge wave of heaviness flows inside me as if i will drown with regret and guilt. It's sick and hopeless.
My friends say its a daily affair when it comes to me. Well yeah, But I bet you don't know how it feels.
I did a HUGE mistake. I am human too. Can't he just forgive me?
@ Shourya- I'm not publicising. :] I love you. Happy? I'm not scared of telling you I love you even if i have to say it here or at school at a market or any fucking where.

Anyway, So yeah, talk about forgiveness.
It's a hard job, But accomplishable? Yes. Please.
I don't think it would work with him though, He just doesn't deserve what I did.
Seriously I So deserve what I'm going through right now. I can just think about it and sigh or maybe loose a little of my tears on him.
Done already. Fuck it.

I'm gonna be strong. And never do this to anyone, Ever. Cause I guess I know how it feels.
Terrible. I'm Sorry.
I am extremely sorry. Sorry. And it wont ever end.