Sunday, January 31, 2010

Because If I am to go,in my heart you'd grow and that's where you belong.

Warning :


So, Hi. How have all of you been? Not that any of you care to ask me how I am. But still, I'd still be Nice and not so ignorant.

So What The Fuck is happening around here? I mean, IS this even possible? How can life get so FUCKING unbelievable? Can someone please FUCKING answer?
For the Love of god. If this is WHAT I get for being so Honest and True, I rather Die out of regret.
But, NOOOO! GOD ( Who I definitely don't believe in) wants me to get tested so that I can survive, Right? WHAT BULLSHIT.

A day will come, When YOUR OWN people, Who you named as "Mankind", Will not be so "kind" anymore. They wouldn't even bother believing that you ever existed.

Anyway, How much more are you going to test me? Bring it ON,Anyway. Who are you ?
You rather just be up there and LOOK at people get fucked up to the BIGGEST order, Okay?
Just do ME a favor and for your own sake, Don't do shit for me anymore.

I can't even count on my fingers for how many times you've actually tried to block bliss in my life.
See, I'll give you an example, LOOK at me, Do I look anywhere near Happy to you ?
Um, NO?
Get the Picture?. Oh! I'm so Fucking sure you don't. That's not something new, Is it.

OH! First you make me Feel all Happy about something, Make myself believe that, Yes, Finally I can breathe without hesitation. You push people in my Life, Make me find a place in their Heart and then confuse me completely, And then you make me push them away. You do your job till there, And then you STOP , Your Job here is done, You just Ruined someone . And What about me? What about all of the stuff I have to go through after that ?
What About the people? What in the name of FUCK do you WANT ?

This is a freaking order from one of your useless creations, ME.
Either you shower in the happiness that I fucking deserve right now. Or just DIE. Okay? Just fucking die out.
Either you give me back THE freaking love I deserve from the guy I am in Love with, Or just make me lose my memory. Cause I cannot do this anymore. I cannot sit here thinking he'll be alright without me, When he is not. I can't sit here like a fool just because I'm Hopelessly devoted to him.
Guess mine is not the first heart broken, my eyes are not the first tocry
I'm not the first to know, there's just no getting over him. Okay? If thats what you want me to do. Go fuck a whore Goddess.

I think its high time, I should have some sleep at nights too you know. I sleep when everyone in the world is Wide awake. And when I'm up, I don't see anyone around.
You have Fucked me up. Like, REALLY.
Are you happy now? Ohh. Well I'm fuck sure you are. So much, that you could give away some more of my happiness to someone who doesn't deserve some. Right?
Great. Who the fuck created you ? Why don't your so called people ever find him? I'm sure he would have been Kind enough.

Anyway, I'm done with you . Go fuck someone or something, You don't deserve to be in a position to be called,God.
Fuck OFF.

To Siddhant, Listen, I don't know what do you want from me. I really don't know. And its High time you knew, This isn't useless. Okay? Like, Don't you get it anymore? Haven't you heard enough ? I have failed to understand, WHY. Its really Time, You should forgive me, And yourself. If you know I love you, I really do. Didn't you Notice enough, My entire freaking Blog is like devoted to you. I can write a Book about you. About your Silence all these Months. Every day made me think about you even more. I just can't do this without you anymore. And I can't see you unhappy. Cause right now, Trust me I know you are pretty unhappy. Aren't you Weed?.
Just Hang on there, alright?
I'm here. Anytime Just for you, Consider yourself Very lucky Love. :)
And anytime, I mean it anytime you feel you want to talk, DO NOT ask anyone before doing that, Just CALL. okay? Just call. Believe me, I'll be the happiest person. That would give me some extra reasons to stay alive.

I Love you, More than you can ever Imagine.

Friday, January 22, 2010

When you know, Nothing.

When you don't know where you want to be. When you don't know what you want to do. When you don't know who you are. When you KNOW you are about to mess yourself up.
Its just what you call, Being helpless. When life makes you beg for the happiness you deserve to have. Life becomes ruthless than ever. When nothing goes right, Not even your hair.
When you have all the possible ways to express, But you're still buried beneath. When people around you are promising you that it would be the same again , And you're thinking about it, Still they're leaving you behind.
When you are blinded with every thought that makes you feel real again. When you are smiling from the outside and inside its a hell lot of emotions, rumbling and tumbling to flow out and away.
When you're leaving to meet someone and feeling happy about it, But thinking why can't it just be that someone you really want to see. When you know he won't smile back whether you like it or
not. When you know hes talking to someone right now who makes a difference in his life, Who is an actual part of his life. When you know its no use going on, But you're still holding on to the end of the thread. When you know there's a dead end further, But you're still walking and running, just to feel the happiness about you doing your best to capture his smile, His eyes.
When you want him to Jump and fall into you , But he's already gone and made a life of his own.
When you know you're never gonna stop trying. When you know you're always gonna be there even though you made yourself unreachable to him before. When you know Hope is not what you are living for. When you know its him you are living for. When you know, You like everything about him, But still, you tell people around you to Shut their pie hole when they mention about his wonderful eyes. When you know, The day you see him stand right next to you would be the Happiest day of your life. When you know, Standing so close to him would be like a dream you dreamt of last night. When you know, People around him Hate you so much that they would never want you to be the one who told him, You love him. When you know, Theres no one in the World who can help you , But you're still talking to every soul that knows him And then you realize, You know him By heart.
When you know every song that you head, You want to sing it to him. When you know, When your phone rings, It would never be him. When you know, He only wants to be your friend just for the heck of it. When you know, when you sleep tonight, You're going to dream about him. When you know, Hes the further-est away And you're still thinking he wouldn't be so far away some day.
When you know all the steps up to his door, But you don't go there anymore. When you know, NOTHING will ever be right again, When you know, Hes never coming back. When you know, You love him more than you have loved anyone or anything. When you know, Nothing on planet earth can make you smile, But just Him.
When you know , He's never going to believe you. When you know, You have nothing else to say . When you know, You leave your window open hoping he'll come in with the Rain.
When you know, Hes never going to read about his Importance in your life. When you know, He's not going to be the person you always wanted to be with. When you know, Hes never going to give you a call in the middle of the night just to say goodnight. When you know, You have nothing else to mend , But your Heart.

You lift my feet off the ground, Spin me around.
You make me Crazier.


Monday, January 11, 2010

Collecting thougts.

Dear Readers.

So New years was pretty fine. Danced pretty much. Didn't drink though. HAHA.
Its good that didn't. I would have ended up on the terrace or something. Its weird. But hey, My heels did a great job. I looked tall. Just like every one else. haha. But when I like reached home, My feet were almost paralized :/ haha.

err,Anyway. I've lost interest in my Blog suddenly, I don't know why though. But what the fuck, Its okay.
It really has helped me make a difference and also sometimes it made a huge mistake too.
My fault. Sure.
So here we go, Its 2010. Another year, Another pain. haha Just kidding. Its good. Even though I havn't achieved much. Im still greatful that I can see the morning sun and night sky. :)
I have bin promised by Anirudh that i'd get a Puppy soon :D
Thankyou. And Oh oh! Tanmayesh, You're letter was too good to be true. I loved every bit of it.
Shourya has bin prepairing a lot lately. Only I know what it is like.
Shourya baby, Don't worry. It'll be worth it, All of it. Your love , your time. It will be. Im sure. I wish you all the love and luck in the world.
Just hold on and be strong with every step you take ahead to tell her how you feel. I love you, Always.

So,Amrita and her Boyfriend are going to complete 7 months on 24th. And i wish you many more to come. :)
And today is wango's 6 month Happy to you.
You're still a brat who eat my feet, still i adore you to bits.

Thankyou, And im gonna go learn some cords to a song.
Yes, Im learning the Guitar :) How cool is that. haha

Bye , I'll keep you updated. Promise.

AND ALSO,I made a Sketch, My very first Sketch. I never knew I could Sketch before. But whatever, haha bye.