Well, Hello there one and all.
I know Ive not got a lot of readers who like reading my blog here. There are probably more of haters and people who talk ill about what I write. Actully, that doesn't hurt you know. Not even a bit. :)
So, I just felt like blogging you know. Its been a few months now that I lost touch from the whole 'internet' and 'facebook
menis' haha, boy is that a relief.
You suree wanna do that sometime.So, I have been thinking a lot these days, I actually wanna talk about people who are irreplaceable. Who have the authority to say that they own you. Cause they earned it. They are people who make you believe in things that don't exist but they make you wonder, things like God and ghosts suddenly become the center of attraction for you. Its just amazing how they do it. Somtimes its just one, or they're two wonderful human beings who gave birth to you. Who proved thier love for each other and are gifted by a small,tender,beautilful, little human, You. (Excluding the fact that how not-so-amazing you turn out to be later). When you are born, Parents don't see how horny you are gonna get when you hit puberty,how much you are gonna expose being a girl,how ugly you might turn later on, But when you're a baby, They hold your tiny little baby finger from the very first day you learn how to walk, till THAT very day you step outside for your very first job interview. Com'mon, Parents are probably the most incredeble form of human beings Ive ever seen. They have problems too, but in the end you gotta Love them, cause dude, you owe them A LOT, for cleaning your bums and poop for years, for potty training you for crying out loud. Haha. Well, for me, however hard it might be to deal with parental pressure when you're a teenager, a 12th grader, A girl, They're always gonna be my inspiration, my pride, my strength,my back, and I, myself alone cannot repay them back for all the love they've given me. There are so many incidents that make you wish you never wanna grow up, cause when the day comes, the day you gotta leave those hands and walk away to stand up tall and proud, to make them proud for once, it'll be great, yet incomplete without that innocence and that one moment when your Father would hold your finger and lead you the right way.
It makes me cry thinking about how hard it would have been for my parents to see me grow up, even though they say Im wonderful, I'm sure they miss picking me up and putting me to sleep cuddled up right in the center. I miss that too you know, I miss being tiny, I miss being the center of attention, I miss being fed, I miss getting on my fathers back and going for a stroll while he told me stories. Theres just too much to wish for.
All I could say is, Love is too small a word to describe anything that could match upto the feeling, the affection they've given me.
I Love You Mumma, Papa. .. I hope you stay immortal, and I hope to always have you around. And thats about it..
Monday, July 5, 2010
Alright, So Hi.
I don't know from where I should start.
I know its been really really heck long since I wrote ANYTHING.
I don't want to write any of the bullshit i always use to end up writing.
About my sad lost love, About my friends betraying me, About how sad and miserable I am, about how I want to abuse someone all around.
I'm straight away gonna just give this post away to a person who will always and forever remain with me even though hes not gonna be anywhere close to me physically.
And Yes, As I'm typing this through,I can't help but weep like a baby.
There is no one around me, Not even my Favorite teddy bear I could at least hold tight and let go of these feelings I cannot handle myself alone.
I don't know what this game is called, Perhaps I would call it Life.
Its the toughest job, I'm young, But my emotions are as old as they should be. Right now, I cannot control a single muscle of my body, a single tissue.
I'm not upset, At all.
I'm great, I'm just GREAT.
I don't give a peace of crap about anyone but myself right now, I truly truly wished I had people and things to thank for being a part of my great yet conservative life.
So, Anxious to know who I'm talking about?
The names, Malhotra, Shourya Malhotra. ( you gotta thank me for that great Bond intro later man haha)
You know why Am I just madly in love with you?
No I mean really, In true fucking words,I love you. And I have a perfect explanation to tell you WHY.
Cause I have been out of reach from every single person living around me except for one and you know who that is.
And the only, only fucking person I could EVER fucking CALL when I went through my contact list that contained more than 300 contacts WAS YOU.
EVERYONE, EVERYONE have their Friends, best friends, on their Speed dial, on there contacts, In their recent log list, But I have ONE. Or sometimes Vodaphone gives me a call.
I go through my contact list and keep pushing my thumb on my touch screen , Wondering who to CALL?
From A to R , I just flip and think and it reaches S, and there comes Shourya.
I cant explain alright.
You're leaving soon enough, and time wont stop for crying out loud.
How am I supposed to STOP you?
You know, I have realized the time I have been ignorant to you, And the time I have been away from you, You have caught up with a lot of people too, who mean a lot more than I mean to you , I know that.
But trust me, Whatever said and done, You are my Hero. My brother from another mother but you and I feel blood related.
I want to thank you, for giving me such great lessons I could never ever get to learn from any other Friend or family member.
I maybe a loner sometimes, when I see people I knew earlier, STILL hanging out and making new friends and whatever the fuck everyone does, And I sit here and watch and just think, DAMN how bad do they hate me... still? They adored me at one time and so Did I.
Its Like I never even existed, Yeah I know everyone goes through it, Yakidi yakidi yak, But this is hard, They won't get it, cause they can't be me, Theyre still happy, Really happy, And yet, Im happy for them haha funny isnt it.. Was I really that bad? I ask myself.
Till the END of this post, Im still crying. Believe me or not. This kinda really has a lot of emotion to it, Least you could do after you read this is waste a little tears for me too.
I love you.
And you know sometimes, I feel God exists when I know you're near.